When I was just restoring my faith back in UK travellers this happens...

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Top 500 Contributor

Been asked if you can take pears to France.....random or what?!? Big Smile

Top 100 Contributor

I've done a spell in Reservations and frequently would get the comment, "Why is i so much this year compared to last?" when the customers had booked a last minute deal previously. They'd accuse me of ripping them off. When I would explain the above, they'd always say, that they wanted to pay last year's price. One day I gave up and told them that they could have that price for a holiday....then promptly told them the flight details of the the holiday from last year. "I can do last year's price only if you can go last year"!

Not a great answer of course but jaysus! Needed to be said!


Top 75 Contributor

ha ha ha!!! I love that answer @OrangeMark! I'm gonna try that one as I get asked this three or four times a week!

I also got today "Can you explain why it is costing £5,500 EACH to go Business Class to New Zealand with 14 nights at various 5 start hotels and lodges?!"

I thought that was a bargain! Customers budget £2000 (the flights cost more than this!)

Top 25 Contributor

ha ha @orangemark thats brilliant

@Azzie - thats hilarious people are stupid

Top 500 Contributor

Just had a customer who reckons a teletext company has quoted him a 5* AI Tenerife over christmas including a Jacuzzi sea view room, flts to and from LGW for........ £250.00pp

My responce

Good Luck!!!! 

Not Ranked

Lol....I love those ones. I tend to say ' oh if I were you I'd get that booked at such a good price, why are you shopping around'?

Top 75 Contributor

I just had an incredibly weird customer!!! He came in with a copy of our brochure and pointed to an escorted tour in the brochure and "I want to go on this tour". I ascertained dates of travel, no of pax, pre&post stay all the usual stuff and printed the itinerary off for him. He looked over the itinerary and threw it back at me saying "That is not at all what I asked for!"

Trying not to be shocked I went back to the brochure I pointed to the tour saying "is this not the one you wanted?" he said yes. "With Air New Zealand" - Yes, "with three days post stay in Auckland" - Yes, "for two people" - yes, "going 3rd March 2012" - yes, "This itinerary is exactly that, how is it not what you want?"

After trying to get through all the "its rubbish!", "Just not what I am looking for" "Absolutley ridiculous" comments finally managed to get it out of the customer that he wasn't happy with the flight times. Offered alternative flights with different carriers at times close to what he wanted but nooo had to be NZ!

Seriously what does he expect me to do? Ring NZ and ask them to delay the flight by 4 hours?! Some people obviously have nothing better to do than make our jobs 100 times harder than it has to be!

Also had another one this morning asking if he can take his golf clubs on board the aircraft. Said no he would have to check them in as its a dangerous item, "Well can you ring them and ask them to make an exception!" Rather than argue with him said "ok" left him on hold for 10 minutes then went back and said "sorry they said no, its an dangerous item and has to be checked in". Why ask me a question and then disbelieve me when I give them the answer?!?!?

Rant over how is everyone elses day?


Top 25 Contributor

This is one of my bug bears today...

Customer came in to get a price on a hotel I asked her if she had a price and said no so this is the conversation;

"So all together £588pp"

"Oh gosh thats too high - thomas cook quoted £450"

"Oh though you had no other prices"

"um...well...i forgot"


Top 500 Contributor

I also hate:


"So did you have a budget in mind?"

"No no, just as cheap as you can get it."

**Five minutes later**

"So I've found you this deal, its £450 for seven days all-in"

"Oh that's too much, I only wanted to spend £400 maximum"

" DO have a budget then...."

Top 500 Contributor

I hate it when i ask have you been quoted else where, they say yes, but i'm not telling you!!!!! how am i meant to try and beat it if you won't tell me!!!!! 

Top 500 Contributor

This EXACT thing used to happen to me all the time!! 

'Do you have a budget?'


'right it is x'

'well we were thinking more of x'

'SO YOU JUST LIED TO ME!!!!!!! how on earth are we going to continue this process if we start off on this note???'

Top 100 Contributor

I've just been helping out at the London Ski Show and had an abrupt chap at the stand. Conversation went something like this:


Cust - "Do you have anything for single travellers?"

Me - "Ok, let's have a look..when would you like to travel?"

C - "That's a no then!"

M - "No, there are several ski hotels in Norway with single rooms such as Hotel X, Hotel Y"

C - "Well you can't help me if you've no single rooms"

M - "Well I know we have some, when would you like to go?"

C - "First week of December"

M - "Well the resort may not be open then and besides, we only start approx 17/18th December"

C - "Told you, nothing for single travellers...."

Cue chap flouncing off head thrown back.


He'll probably complain it's not warm enough if he does get there........

Not Ranked

i always find dealing with friends and family is worse than clients. my friend came in at the start of summer for a late deal, everything i came up with was £400 min AI to which she said "its cheaper online"

she told me she found one for TFS 5* AI £250. i said ok what site? i finally found the site she was on and to my dismay it was there advertised in black and white.

i took the opportunity to call the company and check availability and found out that it was a low cost airline she didn't want to travel with, no transfers or luggage included. and finally it was on a date months from when she wanted to go! i got a price for the dates she wanted with all the extras included and it turned out to be over £600pp!

what's worse is she actually booked this after telling me £400 was too dear!

Not Ranked

How about the old "I'll go anywhere" routine.

Cue, I  suggest Tunisia: Client; "I wont go to Tunisia..."

Oh and the classic: I want to travel in January but dont want to fly for more than 2 hours with the children and it has to be HOT! - Me: well in the northern hemisphere in January it is winter....

...rolls eyes...

Top 500 Contributor

I just had one today....

'where does a caribbean cruise go? is it like morocco and lanzarote and stuff?'

*bangs head on desk*

Top 100 Contributor

Brilliant! Not had an comments for a while so that's just cheered me up!

Not Ranked

I've got one

Customer comes in wanting a cruise in the winter it was Feb somethime somewhere hot (As usual) but i've cruised in the Med (East and west), Far east, Carribean, Hawaii and Australia and the canaries oh and ivee even done an African crusie but I don't want to go back to any of them places just find me somewhere hot on a crusie oh and it can only be P&O


Me: 0_o Banging head on desk till I pass out or customer leaves whichever comes first haha

Top 100 Contributor

Seem to be getting a lot of ski enquiries along the lines of....


"We want a nice half board hotel with good snow, any time in January. Anywhere in France, Italy or Austria. What can you offer me?"

How about a nice scenic calendar or an instruction manual on "How to read a brochure"

Not Ranked

@OrangeMark tell me about it man it's like they have suddenly lost the abblity to read as soon as they walk in the shop


I hate that with late deals right Ill go anywhere for £100 each all inclusive for a week my work mate had something similar to that before customer wanted a crusie for a famliy going to the med with RCCL so they think fair enough get a costing which I think is great to be honest for a 14 night crusie with RCCL my work mate says ive got you a great price for £3200 for the entire family in a ocean view bal. family  stateroom

Customer:Well that's more than I thought!!

Workmate:How much were you expecting ill see if i can do anything discount wise?

Customer: About £1500

Me and workmate: 0_o

Top 100 Contributor

One of my colleagues in Sales has had a typical one!

They got an email from a customer thanking him for taking the time to call, go though every detail of the holiday and completely put her mind at ease. She then asked if he could email the quote she asked for over as she wanted to take it to a travel agent who'd give 5% off that price but needs it in writing?!?!?!

Thoughts of "shove a broom up my backside and I'll sweep the floor as I walk".

Not Ranked

My favourite is:

Customer: "Can i have some brochures please - Cosmos and Warners.

Me: Would you like some prices on anything?

Customer: No thanks, i've got tesco vouchers so will ring them up directly!

Me: Angry face and thoughts of don't let the door hit you on the way out :-)

Not Ranked

I had a customer call today and asked "I'm going on holiday and wanted to know if there will be a toilet on the flight and are they safe to use"

Top 100 Contributor

Chuckling away at my desk. How did you answer?

Top 500 Contributor

@Minime, i had the exact same thing! she wanted me to price up a cosmos holiday and use her clubcard vouchers. I said why not call them direct as there are certain t&C with the vouchers, her reply, oh no i don't want to waste their time, i'll call them once you found a good deal!!!


Top 25 Contributor

Very frustrating visit from a  customer yesterday. Wanting a holiday from Norwich Airport they had seen on a website and quoted price and all the details. I said I am sorry Norwich do not fly on that day... got told I did not know what I was doing.

Customer booked last night just brought it in to show me. Looking at the airport code NCL I ask her he she wish to book car parking at Newcastle... to be told I do not know my job and NCL is Norwich.

Top 200 Contributor

I've just had a customer earlier today say that hes going to San Fran and while hes there he was wondering how far it was and if its possible to do a trip to 'jellystone park'

... As far as i know thats where Yogi Bear lives and isnt a real place, im sure he meant yellowstone, after i told him its a 16hr drive he soon changed his mind anyway bless.

Top 500 Contributor

I asked a customer if a cruise would be an option to try and get something within his budget.. he asked for details. So I send him all the details of the one we are advertising but said I can have a look at other itinteraries if its an option... he replied 'Can you send me more detail....'

I could BANG my head of a wall and ask how much MORE detail can I give him??? I just replied, 'I'm sorry, is it more detail about the ship you are looking for?'

Top 500 Contributor

Thats too funny, if he is comfortable to grow one more, then he can, if not also,nothing will happen, if he wants to travel by ferry or air travel , then they might get a small doubt...Is'nt it...?

Top 100 Contributor


Loved your story! Wish I could have seen her face! Egg covered no doubt!!! Stick out tongue

Top 100 Contributor

Some of these make me think that Basil Fawlty had the right idea - "You can see the sea - it's over there between the land and the sky"

"I paid for a view"

"You've got a view"

"Well it's not good enough"

"But that is Torquay madam! What do you expect to see out of a Torquay bedroom window?"

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