Cruise Lines

People booked to cruise on Hebridean Spirit, just sold by Hebridean International Cruises, have become hot property.

We've had Swan to the rescue offering them a 5% discount, Silversea to the rescue offering a 10% discount and now SeaDream Yacht Club has stepped in offering 15% off the "book today" prices for 2009 and 2010.

Decisions, decisions.

SeaDream's two 112-passenger vessels are closest in size to Hebridean's 98-passenger Hebridean Spirit (and they have the added advantage of being all-inclusive, as was Spirit) but they only sail in the Med and Caribbean.

Silversea's Prince Albert II, with capacity for 132 passengers, is also pretty close, and also all-inclusive. But at the moment it only sails in the Arctic and Antarctica.

If passengers want greater choice of exciting destinations, it has to be Swan. Minerva is bigger - 350 passengers - and unfortunately you have to pay for drinks on board, but you do get to visit places such as North Africa, the Black Sea, South Africa, Turkey and Mozambique. And that's just the sort of thing that Hebridean Spirit did too.

The way things are going, though, the best thing is probably just to sit tight and wait for the next "rescue package". Judging from past experience it will be offering an even bigger discount!

The Los Angeles Times reports that a bipartisan group of senators has predicted the travel ban on Americans visiting Cuba is close to being lifted.

Seems they've finally noticed that a policy put in place 50 years ago to undermine Castro's regime hasn't worked!

If it's true, get ready for a rash of new Caribbean itineraries from American cruiselines. They've had to sail past the island while their passengers dream whistfully of Cuba's lovely beaches and classic Cadillacs. Once they can go, the flood gates will be open.

It would be great for Cubans finally to benefit from the tourist euro (although presumably Cuba would have to stop turning its nose up at the dollar?), but I would advise a trip there now, before it happens.

The "real" Cuba will surely disappear under the weight of 3,000 or more passengers disembarking in Havana, and racing to buy the "I love Cuba" t-shirt and cheap jewellery.

Disney Wonder is to move from Port Canaveral, Florida, to Los Angeles in 2011, making way for the two new ships, Disney Dream and Disney Fantasy, joining Disney Cruise Lines in 2011 and 2012 respectively.

An agreement was expected to be approved yesterday for the ship to operate from the Port of Los Angeles for three years, with an option to extend for another two years.

The move makes a lot of sense for Disney Cruise Line. With all the additional capacity coming along (each of its new ships will carry 4,000 passengers when all berth are full), it needs to explore new markets outside its traditional Port Canaveral base.

Los Angeles is a logical new homeport as it allows passengers to combine a cruise with a stay at Disneyland in Anaheim, but it is also testing the waters on this side of the pond again next year with a series of Scandinavian and Mediterranean cruises on Disney Magic.

For the Scandinavian cruises, the ship will be based in Dover - the first time a Disney ship has been in UK waters.

I was once told by one of the Disney people over here that the cruise line was not interested in the UK market because the ships could easily be filled with Americans.

Was she taking the Mickey? I don't think so, judging by the total lack of information about the cruise line that comes from the UK press office.

But times have changed and recession is upon us all, so now they might be pleased to have a few Brits filling their berths. Having a cruise ship in Dover is a terrific opportunity for them. I just hope they get their act together and spread a little Disney Magic so would-be cruisers and agents can get to see the ship.

Costa Cruises is inviting travel agents from around the world to come up with names for its next two ships, which I shall call numbers 16 and 17, for obvious reasons, launching in 2011 and 2012.

Has Costa run out of ideas? It says not. It's just a fitting token of thanks to the trade for helping to sell their cruises.

The three travel agents whose ideas are judged best will be invited to number 16's naming ceremony in 2011.

They will also get a Costa workstation, which comprises a computer with two screens, wifi keyboard and mouse, office chair, desk lamp and limited-edition pen holder, and the one agent who submits the winning pair of names will be invited on number 16's maiden cruise.

One or more pairs of names (because there are two ships, remember) can be submitted online any time before June 5.

In case it helps, the ships will be 114,500 tons and carry 3,780 passengers, and based on past experience I would suggest a name beginning with Costa. That's it. You're on your own now.

Regent Seven Seas Cruises has been forced to cut short Seven Seas Voyager's world cruise after discovering the damage done when fishing lines got tangled in a propulsion pod was greater than first thought.

Attempts had been made to fix the damage in Cochin and Dubai, but it's not been enough. Now the ship is going into dry-dock in Rome for repairs, meaning the end of the line for the world cruisers on board.

They should have sailed from Istanbul, arriving in Fort Lauderdale on May 8. Instead they will all be flown home from Rome. Regent has also cancelled the May 8 sailing from Fort Lauderdale to Southampton via Reykjavik.

It must be pretty gutting to have got so far around the world, only for the voyage to end on such a sour note. But there is a silver lining: Regent has offered a generous compensation packet - and without the passengers even having to threaten a mutiny - including a full refund for passengers on the March 18 voyage from Singapore to Dubai, which was marred by missed ports (the damage was done on leaving Singapore).

Cruise Critic quotes one member saying the "mood of the ship has changed from disappointment and complaints to elation".

Nice one Regent. It might be painful financially but at least passengers will leave with happy thoughts.

Anyone passing the Belvedere Restaurant in Holland Park, London, on Saturday must have wondered what on earth was happening. Instead of the silence of speechless diners forking out ludicrous sums of money for lunch and wine (of which more later), there was a gangway into the building and the screams of happy children emanating from inside.

This was Azura day - a brilliant few hours when some of the exciting stuff on P&O Cruises' new ship, launching April 2010, was on display for invited guests.

They had done a great job transforming the place for the event, with a Wii sport downstairs so we could practise our ski jumps and golf (and yes, there will be a Wii on Azura), and a kids' area next door (hence the happy screams). Upstairs, there was a spa and nail salon, and wine-tasting sessions.

I was treated to two spa taster treatments courtesy of Andrew - a much-needed neck, back and shoulder massage after a week of fun rock-climbing and failed crab hunting (we found five and two of them were dead!) in Cornwall and the much more exotic-sounding pada-abhyanga.

I've no idea how you say it, but it's one of three new ayurvedic treatments that P&O Cruises will be offering in the spa and was lovely. I had just 15 minutes in Andrew's hands; it didn't need much imagination to see that 30 minutes or so will be pure bliss.

Naturally I also made it to one of the wine-tasting sessions, hosted by TV wine guru Olly Smith, who is selecting the wine for the Glass House, a restaurant-cum-wine bar that will debut on Azura.

He dug out some great wines for us to try, from an almost cheap-and-cheerful £7.99 South African white (sold in the restaurant for about £79...see what I mean about the prices?), which I really enjoyed, and a £400 red (I didn't dare ask ....).

Olly will be selecting 72 wines available by the glass for the Glass House (as well as all the wine for the rest of the ship), which will be expertly matched to each course served there by the ship's sommelier.

Whoever he is, I'm sure he'll know his stuff, but I can't help thinking Olly will be sadly missed as much of the enjoyment of the session was in his inimitable presentation. He will be Azura on four times a year - and once on holiday! - so he can make sure everything is working OK.

My advice? Find out those dates and book one of the cruises. You'll hae a fun time and be able to bore your friends with your new-found knowledge about classy plonk.

P&O Cruises might not have achieved the bookings it was hoping for on day one of Azura being on sale, but managing director Nigel Esdale wasn't looking too glum at the Azura day on Saturday.

Especially when he revealed that the 29-night Christmas and New Year cruise, departing December 10 or 11 2010 and taking in 17 ports in the Caribbean, sold out in less than five days. That's 3,080 passengers booked - and the ship doesn't even launch until next April.

If you missed out, don't despair. They have started a waiting list. But with demand like that, you'd better get your name down fast.

It might win the award for ugliest ship of the decade, but I do like the sound of the additional restaurants Norwegian Cruise Line is planning for new ship Norwegian Epic, revealed last Friday, along with details of an aqua park, abseiling wall and big kids club.

There will be 14 places to eat on the ship, launching next July, including NCL favourites such as Cagney's Steakhouse, which will be serving skewered meats a la Argentina for the first time, the Teppanyaki Grill and an Italian farmhouse-style eatery....

...but also new places such as Shanghai's for Chinese food and Taste (pictured below), in the atrium, for traditional and contemporary cuisine. Exactly what that is, I have no idea, but I'm guessing European stuff, to go with the Euro retro-style decor.

For those who can't sit still, not even to eat, there is the Manhattan Room supper club with a big dance floor and live music so diners can strut their stuff between courses. Gives me indigestion just thinking about it, but I know it's popular and the room is apparently elegant and romantic.

More me is the abseiling wall - I'm terrified of heights, but I've always wanted to try abseiling - and the Epic Plunge water slide. Haven't a clue what it's all about but I get the idea it's the mother of all water slides at sea!

Epic will also have a 33-foot high extreme rock-climbing wall, a 24-foot tall climbing cage, and bowling alleys in the Bliss Ultra Lounge and O'Sheehan's Neighborhood (sic) Bar and Grill, another new eatery, with flat screens that will show sports events.

If all that's not enough to keep kids occupied, they can spend their days in Recess, for the two to 12s, with Wii games, karaoke, a cinema and more, or Entourage for teens ages up to 17, where there are video games by day and places to hang out in the evening.

There's more information about another restaurant and three new bars on Epic to be revealed May 20 in New York. Then that's it. All the news is out; we just have to wait for the STX Europe shipyard in France to build the ship.

It's Epic stuff. And now I know why the powers that be at NCL choose that name for the ship.

With just 12 weeks to go before Yachts of Seabourn takes delivery of Seabourn Odyssey, it's all hands on deck, so to speak, at the T Mariotti shipyard in Genoa, Italy, to the get the vessel ship shape.

I had a tour around the ship yesterday with Seabourn chief executive officer and president Pamela Conover and had planned to bring you pictures of the interior, but all there is to see right now are wires, dust and workmen.

Even the exteriors are far from finished - or so it appears to an unpractised eye. Conover tells me the shipyard is confident it will be ready on time.

This is me on the balcony of one of two Signature suites at the forward end of the vessel. It's not quite the biggest suite on the ship if you measure the interior - that honour goes to the two Winter Garden suites - but this balcony is huge. Just right for a party.

The balconies, of course, are the big change for Seabourn as its three smaller ships, Seabourn Pride, Spirit and Legend, only have so-called Juliet balconies - French windows for fresh air and a veranda you can just about get your foot on. Some 90% of staterooms on Odyssey will have balconies.

The other big change is the size of the ship. Odyssey is three times the size of Pride, Spirit and Legend, but - and I'm still trying to get my head around this now I've got a real feel for the size of the ship - it only takes twice as many passengers. The feeling of space will be incredible.

Despite all the wires, dust and noise, I could see this will be a lovely ship. I especially liked the Seabourn Square concept, where, instead of counters, there will be three guest relations desks manned by staff each doing the job of reception, booking tours and generally answering questions.

Around the Square, there will be a coffee-shop-cum-bar, a library and internet café where passengers can wait, and there will also be a roving tours manager and other staff who can answer queries in their area of expertise.

As on the other Seabourn vessels, there will be a marina at the back of the ship - inside this hole. When sea conditions allow, a platform opens so passengers can try their hand at a few watersports - waterskiing, windsurfing, sailing and so on.

After the tour, I went to a warehouse somewhere close by to the shipyard, where there is a mock-up a suite and a penthouse. The top picture is part of the standard suite, the next three pictures are a penthouse - the sitting area, bedroom (note how you can look through to the sitting area and balcony from the bed - except the balcony curtains are shut because... well it is just a warehouse) and the huge bathroom.

Then finally it was off to Portofino, one of the most beautiful places I know, for a night at the Hotel Splendido. I have looked at this property wistfully from afar a few times, while walking between Portofino and St Margherita, but never been inside before. It's more Magnifico than Splendido - below is the view from my balcony. Make sure you come with the one you love.

After writing I didn't understand the written explanation of what the Epic Plunge on the Norwegian Epic was all about, I was kindly pointed in the way of the presentation last week that revealed all.

Put it on and go and make some tea because the bit you want is at the end and the rest is long and cringe-worthy - a jokey presentation to an almost silent audience. It doesn't work.

If you can't be bothered to wait, basically you sit in a rubber tube, get shot out into this big bowl which the tube will circle a few times (centrifugal force and all that) before you go through the hole in the middle. It does look amazing - it's the purple slide in the picture - and a lot of fun. And as a friend pointed out, no skill is required so it is something everyone can do.

As the (none-too-impressed) readers of Cruise.co.uk point out, though, the big "reveal" last Friday, which included detail about most of the restaurants on the new Norwegian Epic, left a lot of questions unanswered. Like which of the 14 restaurants will you have to pay for? And how much?

My question is whether there be a charge to go on the Epic Plunge? And if not, how will they control queues?

What is it about cruising people that makes them want to see crew making food, washing dishes and ironing shirts?

I spend most of my time in ships these days, but I can honestly say that in the days when my overseas stays were more land-based, I was never asked by the hotel receptionists if I wanted to sign up for a tour of the laundry or kitchen.

Yet cruisers will stump up vast sums of money to see all the things they have come on holiday to forget. Or at least I thought that's what this holiday lark was all about.

Yet even my cynical self enjoyed the Behind the Scenes tour I did with Princess Cruises last November at the launch of Ruby Princess, but forget galleys and laundrys. The bit I liked was going into the funnel and seeing the engine control room, where computers indicate black water with a picture of a toilet. I reckon even I could operate the ship with guidance like that.

I know some of the men wanted to see the actual engine room, but I've been in a few in my time and they are hot, noisy and windowless. Put it another way, if you're travelling in a car would you rather sit on the comfy leather seats or under the bonnet?

Now Norwegian Cruise Line is getting in on the Behind the Scenes act, offering a similar kind of tour as Princess (bridge, laundry, galley, theatre, and more). It's available on all ships except Norwegian Majesty and just once per cruise on a sea day.

A two-hour basic tour will set you back $55 per person, splash out $150 per person and you get a seven-hour extravaganza that includes sushi-making and sake-tasting, a group photo taken on the bridge, one cup of speciality coffee, pre-dinner cocktails and dinner with a glass of wine (just the one again, I presume) in Cagney's Steakhouse.

Hearing that my cruise to Libya was cancelled when Hebridean International Cruises sold "my" ship, Swan Hellenic has stepped in and I am now booked to go with them instead.

There are just over three weeks until the off and I can't wait. Internet allowing, I'll be reporting back daily on the cruise and destinations.

Swan, you may remember, moved fast on news that Hebridean Spirit had been sold, offering all the newly de-Spirted passengers a 5% discount. Details on the website.

I wonder if others who should have been going to Libya with Hebridean will be on Minerva with me. We could form a Swan Appreciation Society.

I was in good company when I stayed at Orient-Express' Hotel Splendido in Portofino this week, following my visit to see the new Seabourn Odyssey.

Winston Churchill, Richard Burton, Liza Minnelli, Ringo Starr, Rod Stewart, Egon Ronay, Larry Hagman, Billy Joel, Steven Spielberg and Naomi Campbell have all passed through the hotel's doors over the past 50 or so years. I trust they will now be adding my name to the list.

Seriously, I'm not surprised so many famous people have been there. It is a truly gorgeous hotel - the rooms, the service, the food. As ever I was the fussy one at dinner, but three courses of delicious pasta and vegetables just for me were produced alongside the set menu without anyone even batting an eyelid.

When I mentioned that I had always looked at the hotel from afar when in the area on a cruise, Angelica Aliberti, the PR manager, said cruisers visiting Portofino or Saint Margherita are welcome to visit and they will happily show you around the hotel. Combine that with a walk in the woods between the two towns and you'll have a fabulous day out.

In case you're not going to be there soon, here are some pictures to whet your appetite - a suite, similar but not the same as mine, the view from the balcony, the Terrace restaurant at night and the hotel as seen from Portofino.

Just a word of warning. Before you fall too deeply in love, you might want to check out the rates. I was planning a romantic weekend there as soon as I saw my suite, but on second thoughts I think I'll just hang on for the pay rise.

News from Princess Cruises that its passengers have voted Los Angeles top turnaround port (that's one where one cruise ends and another starts) in 2008 got me thinking about what makes a good port.

For a turnaround port it has to be efficiency - its ability to get passengers in and out of the port and on and off the ship quickly - and the friendliness of staff has to count a lot.

Sorry, but for me that last bit puts all US ports out of the running. The staff all trot out the formulaic "have a nice day", but from experience I know what they really mean is "how can I irritate you most". Now they have such stringent security, they are really in their element.

My classic experience has to be an embarkation at Fort Lauderdale last year. There's a group of us waiting to get into the Holy Shrine (what we normal people call a terminal) and just to achieve this our names have to ticked off a list. Imagine that at Southampton or Dover? But I guess we all looked pretty suspect with our suitcases and happy faces.

The queue is moving slowly, then suddenly out pops one big scary lady. "Who's name is not on the list?" (note the emphasis on "not") she booms.

As none of us could see the list, how could we answer that? Or should I say, how could we answer without being arrested?

But back to the ports. Here are my votes for ports generally.

Southampton. Most irritating. I queued more than 45 minutes last year to drive a couple of hundred yards to get to the terminal so someone could take my car and park it. In that time I could have parked my own car, walked across the road to the terminal (yes, I really can park a car and yes, the car park really was just five minutes from the check-in) and boarded the ship. But for some reason no one was allowed to do that.

Civitavecchia. Most disappointing. Unless you like containers, of course. Especially if you are expecting your first taste of Italian chic

Hong Kong. Most disorientating. The terminal doubles as a shopping centre, which is great if you like shops, a pain if all you want is to get on and off your ship and out to the city (actually I did manage to blag my way through the dock gate once, saving myself about 15 minutes wandering among the shops, but didn't dare to try it twice).

Have to say, though, that Hong Kong was a good embarkation port. Dropped near the ship in a Rolls Royce (courtesy of the fabulous Peninsula Hotel), in through the side door to check-in, out onto the quay and quickly onto the ship. And there was not a shop in sight.

Barcelona. Most convenient (but note this award only applies if you are moored at the World Trade Centre). Five minutes and you are in Las Ramblas. Fantastic.

Odessa. Most convenient (without a precondition). Through the terminal (where I think there was one rather unmemorable shop), over the walkway, cross the road (if you dare; there is an underpass if you don't) and you are at the bottom of the Potemkin Steps, one of the city's main attractions. Walk up - or take the lift - and you're in the city.

This picture is taken from the top of the Steps, looking across at my cruise ship, Spirit of Adventure, and this is me sitting on the Steps ... just to prove I really was there.

In fairness to the Americans, I must also mention that once in the Port of Miami I was in the door (no being ticked off a list first), checked-in and boarding the ship in 30 minutes. And that was for a full cruise on Royal Caribbean's 4,000-passenger Freedom of the Seas and after extra passport checks for us "aliens". Proves they can do it if they want to.

No sooner had I located the exotic-sounding Sea of Cortez after reading that The World is going to be there, than Azamara Cruises announced that it's going there too.

The World is spending 10 days in the Sea of Cortez next month; Azarama will be visiting on several voyages during the 2010-11 season, on cruises from Miami and San Diego.

It will be the first time any Royal Caribbean brands - the others are Royal Caribbean and Celebrity Cruises - have ventured into the sea, also known as the Gulf of California, which is famed for its marine life.

I suspect it is also the first time any large cruise brand has been there. But just wait. It only needs one cruiseline to take the plunge for a destination to zoom from zero to hero and a place on the next new hot spot list. Any bets on who will be next?

The US might be poised to drop a 50-year travel ban and let its citizens visit Cuba, but will Cuba want the Americans, asks the US-based News and Observer.

It questions whether the infrastructure in Cuba - an island the size of Pennsylvania with about as many hotel rooms as Detroit apparently - is up to coping with a stampede of American tourists when its hotels are already full with Canadians and Europeans.

It also suggests the prospect of such a stampede might prompt the Cuban government to impose new visa rules on visitors, whether they arrive by air or on a cruise. It would show the world the Americans don't always get what they want, but more to the point it would be a good money-spinning venture.

If anyone pays, that is.

In my blog earlier this month, I forecast cruise ships would flock to the island if the travel ban were lifted, but I reckon they will be less keen on calling on Cuba if it starts to cost too much, especially during this economic downturn.

Consider what is happening in Alaska as a result of the $50 per passenger tax introduced in 2006. Raul Castro, now president in place of brother Fidel, would do well to take note.

King of the quick quip and bad joke Basil Brush is setting sail with casual cruiseline Ocean Village this summer.

Gill Haynes, OV's head of marketing communications, says parents will be as amused as their children to find him on board.

Too right. I loved Basil Brush (mind he was never so good once Mr Derek left - ooops, that's really showing my age!) and there will be plenty of my generation who spent many a happy half hour listening to his "posh voice" and excrutiating jokes. Boom, boom.

OV's other stalwarts Bagpuss and Paddington must be quaking in their boots at the thought of competition from the foxy fella.

Basil will be cruising the Western Med on the original Ocean Village throughout this summer. Prices from £749 per person including flights. Call 0845 358 5000 to book.

Basil Brush® © 2009 I Owen/P Firmin/Entertainment Rights PLC

Block 642, known as the pointy bit to us cruising types, oh OK then, the bow, was lowered into place on Norwegian Cruise Line's new ship Norwegian Epic yesterday.

It took 100 workers at the STX Europe shipyard in St Nazaire, France, about two hours to get the block, weighing 445 tons and measuring 85 feet long by 108 feet wide and 30 feet high, into place. Here's the speeded-up version.

Everyone at Royal Caribbean Cruises must be breathing several sighs of relief after securing funding for Oasis of the Seas.

The 220,000-ton 5,400-passenger behemoth is costing an eye-watering $1.4 billion and up until yesterday Royal didn't have the money.

And there's me worrying about paying my credit card bill.

When chairman Richard Fain wrote his blog "Thanks a billion" yesterday, I'm sure it came straight from the heart.

I was surprised when last year I learnt that funding for new ships is usually the last thing the cruiselines worry about. It would be pretty high up on my list of considerations. But it has been taxing Royal Caribbean somewhat earlier than usual because, as Fain points out, "these are not normal times and normal financing is abnormal today".

And they might have only wanted 80% of $1.4 billion, but that's still rather a lot of money.

Anyone interested can read the details of the deal on Fain's blog. Suffice to say the banks, Finnish government and shipyard have come together and provided the financing.

I know there were many observers who thought we would have trouble arranging this financing ... but we always thought those concerns were naïve - those naysayers underestimated the financial value of the ship; they underestimated the strengths of our relationships with Finland and with our bankers; and they underestimated the determination and ability of our team to make it happen.

Is this man Mr Cool or what?

Depends what you think of Marco Pierre White and spending your holidays being yelled at while slaving over a hot stove.

Because the Hell's Kitchen star will be hosting cookery classes on three Ventura cruises this year.

Why Marco? The White Room on Ventura is named after the fiery chef, who also devised all the menus served there, and he rather fancies passing on his culinary skills to us ordinary mortals.

Marco Pierre White Heavens Kitchen sessions - for groups of up to eight adults and children only - will cost £75 per adult and £35 per child and are available on three 14-night cruises from Southampton to the Med. One departs on May 8, another on July 3 and the last on September 25.

Onlookers at the keel-laying ceremony for Holland America Line's Nieuw Amsterdam didn't just have an unidentifiable lump of steel to look at, but also the front section of the ship, which was constructed in Fincantieri's Sestri year near Genoa and floated around Italy to Fincantieri's Marghera yard near Venice.

The section of keel was lifted into the dock and joined to the front section. A few more such building blocks and they will have an 86,000-ton, 2,106-passenger ship, which is scheduled for delivery in late June 2010.

The interior design of the new Nieuw Amsterdam - a sister to Eurodam, which launched last year - will refect the glamour and history of New York, called Nieuw Amsterdam in the 16th century when it was a Dutch colony.

It will be the fourth Holland America ship to carry the name. The first was launched in 1906, the second served as a troop ship in the Second World War. Nieuw Amsterdam number three launched in 1983, weighed 33,930 tons, carried just over 1,200 passengers and now sails for Thomson Cruises as Thomson Spirit.

I am so glad to read that I am not the only one who looks at a cruise ship under construction and sees, well, a building site.

In his latest blog on the progress of Oasis of the Seas, Royal Caribbean Cruise Lines' chairman Richard Fain admits it's very frustrating that all he can really ever see when he visits the shipyard in Turku is scaffolding. Do they put it up just because he is coming? It love the image and just wish I could draw the cartoon!

For Fain, seeing the ship as a building site must be like buying clothes without seeing if they look good. He's about to fork out $1.4 billion to pay for this little bundle of clothes.

However, he does say that the Diamond Club lounge is taking shape and uses the moment to admit - sort of - that Royal made a mistake by changing the rules and taking away Crown and Anchor Diamond members' (10-24 cruises on Royal) access to the ships' concierge lounges on ll but the very biggest ships.

Lounge access meant a nightly happy hour with free alcohol and a concierge to book spa treatments, shore excursions and the like. As a replacement, they were offered one party night per cruise with free drinks.

The official reason given for restricting access to Diamond-plus members (25 or more cruises with Royal) is that the lounges are getting too full. Strangely, most Diamond members believe it's all to do with money. Give away less booze, profits go up. Simple economics really.

Such was the opposition - check out Cruise Critic to see just how strongly people felt about this - that Royal has been forced to make concessions. First the changes won't happen until September 1. Second, there will now be a nightly party, from 5pm to 8pm, with free wine and champagne, and 25% off the price of other drinks. Diamond members will also have their own continental breakfast area.

Fain attributes the "brouhaha" to the "value" loyal Crown and Anchor members "put on a place where they could relax and enjoy themselves in the company of other similarly minded souls".

No Richard. They were just annoyed that you were taking away their free drinks.

But back to Turku. Because Oasis of the Seas is so big - 220,000 tons with room for 5,400 passengers - it will have a very big Diamond Club lounge so even mere Diamond members will be allowed in.

I can now attest that Oasis' Diamond Club is a major step forward. The actual location and space are terrific.

I suggest Diamond members cruise only on Oasis (and sister ship Allure of the Seas when that launches next year). That way their problem is solved. Until the goal posts move again.

Is anyone surprised that Miles Morgan Travel took 100 bookings in 24 hours for its Titanic memorial cruise?

The ship might have sunk 100 years ago, but there can't be anyone in this country - dare I say in the western world? - that does not know, and is not interested in, what happened that fateful night in April 1912. Even the young generation knows thanks to Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio.

When she heard of the memorial cruise, my 15-year-old daughter asked whether it wasn't a bit gruesome. Well yes. But that's the point. We all love the gory and the gruesome. It's why people go on Jack the Ripper walks in London and why Ground Zero in New York became a huge tourist attraction.

A Titanic cruise that even stops for a memorial service where the ship went down fits the gruesome bill perfectly, but there's more to it than that. Those on board - Miles Morgan has chartered Fred Olsen Cruise Lines' Balmoral for the voyage - will be living history in their own small way.

I expect the other berths to be snapped up in no time, even though the cruise doesn't happen until 2012. A website has been set up with all the details for those who want to book.

Miles says they will be avoiding ice-bergs at all costs. It'll certainly be a good idea to avoid hitting any, but I bet most passengers will be disappointed if they don't see at least one. It would add just enough authenticity.

I'll also bet a few passengers will be sussing out the lifeboat deck as soon as they get on board. Counting seats. Just in case.

Have you discovered MSC Cruises' Deal of the Day yet? It's aimed at anyone looking for a last-minute getaway and as the name suggests, it changes every day - except at weekends, when it is on offer for two days - so you have to be quick.

Before you get too excited, it's not actually happening. But what a brilliant idea for easing a few more dollars out of cruisers' pockets.

While docked in Grenada, Ocho Rios, Kusadasi (the point being it can be anywhere), cruiseships open their doors so passengers from vessels docked alongside can go on board and see what they are missing. For a fee, of course.

I admit a couple of Cruise Critic members actually came up with the idea but I think it's a winner. Passengers on, say, Spirit of Adventure could nip across to Freedom of the Seas to see what it's like to be on an big American ship; those on Ruby Princess could venture onto Balmoral and see what a very British cruise ship is all about.

I can see it now. Crew at the foot of the gangway with a placard advertising the ship tour. Only $100 per person and you get a free keyring and souvenir picture to take home.

Cruiselines would not only increase their on-board income, albeit from people who are technically not on board, but might win over a few sceptical passengers from their rivals. What the marketeers call a win-win situation. I believe.

It would certainly make a change from charging passengers to see the laundry.

Incidentally, I see NCL's new ship's tour has not gone down a storm on Cruise.co.uk. Some great comments. Check them out here.

I've often commented that it is hard to get any idea what a cruise ship will look like when it is under construction as it just looks like a building site.

For those wondering how bad it can be, here are some pictures of Princess Cruises' Golden Princess, in dry dock until May 15 for a very big makeover.

The atrium, left, is being stripped out and transformed into a Piazza with an International Cafe and Vines wine bar.

Below: On deck 15, 10 new balcony suites are being added where once there was a video arcade.

Above: This was the Internet Cafe. Soon it will be the casino.

Below: An adults-only Sanctuary is being fitted on the top deck.

These days you need to take out a second mortgage to sail with the former no-frills easyCruise, where things have changed so much that almost the only thing you'll recognise is the name.

The ship is decked out in stylish grey, the interiors look stylish and modern and the top cabins look comfortable if a little minimalist (note no carpets; makes it easier to clean), with not even a hint of orange.

As for the prices. Let's just say I had to phone easyCruise to make sure I wasn't somehow making a mistake.

Fancy a four-night cruise around Greece and Turkey from May 25-29? The lowest category inside cabin will set you back £1,136 for two people. It's nothing to do with the fact you're booking at short notice either. September 7-11 costs the same. If you go for the top Panoramic Suite it's £2,950 for two people. That's nearly £369 per person per night.

Three-night Greek Island and Turkey cruises are more affordable. You can get an inside cabin from £634 for two people. But you have to cruise in October.

In comparison, four nights cruising from Dover to Zeebrugge, Cherbourg and St Peter Port in Guernsey in an outside cabin on Holland America Line's new ship Eurodam in July costs from £559 per person (the insides have sold out). A balcony suite is from £1,029 per person, or £258 per person per night.

EasyCruise Life is looking very nice, its small size means it can get into the smaller Greek Islands and you are guaranteed sun in Greece, but I can't help feeling Holland America offers the better deal - a newer ship with speciality restaurants, a big spa, live talks and cookery demonstrations. And there are no flights either.

So whatever happened to the cheap-and-cheerful easyCruise, I asked sales and marketing director Paul Ellerby. The answer - apart from the fact they need to make money - is that they are now selling mainly through operators and wholesalers, so prices include commission.

Ellerby says in 2008, 80% of sales were direct and 20% through the trade; for 2009, he expects more than 50% to be through the trade.

Prices also now include food and housekeeping. When easyCruise launched, you just paid for a cabin (but rooms were cleaned between cruises). For 2008 it moved to optional half-board and housekeeping; now you have no choice.

There are also more mod-cons on the ship, with minibars and TVs in the suites, as well as lots of shore excursions, spa packages, beauty packages and drinks packages. In fact, once on board you can spend, spend, spend, just like on any other cruiseline.

For 2009, the line has scrapped seven-night cruises and is instead only selling three and four-day mini breaks from Piraeus or Kusadasi, targeting older people - the average age last year was 39, up from 32 when easyCruise was sailing the French and Italian Rivieras - who want to go Greek Islands sightseeing as part of a larger holiday.

In fact, Ellerby said in September and October last year more than 50% of passengers on the seven-night cruises were more than 50 years old.

Given the prices, which will not appeal to bright young things with a pack on their back, I'm really not surprised.

It's getting hard to keep up with what's happening in the cruise market from the UK for 2010.

First Norwegian Cruise Line pulls its cruises from Southampton on Norwegian Jade - the ship will instead be sailing from Venice - then Thomson launches its 2010 brochure with all traces of cruising from the UK gone. Instead it will be sailing from Marmaris, Palma and Corfu.

And now Royal Caribbean has announced it will sail year-round from Southampton with the 3,600-passenger Independence of the Seas starting winter 2010/11. Cruises go on sale June 1 2009.

Winter in the Med? Departing from Southampton? Taking on the Bay of Biscay when the weather can be atrocious? The very thought fills me with horror, especially after Balmoral's rough ride over Biscay this winter.

Independence might be a newer ship, but it was built to cruise in the Caribbean. It's got stabilisers it's true, but they are not much good when things get too rough. It's also very tall - the equivalent of a nautical brick wall. Just what you don't want on a windy day.

Robin Shaw, Royal Caribbean Cruise Line vice-president and managing director UK and Ireland says bringing the ship to Southampton year-round is all about cementing the line's position as one of the leading players in the UK cruise industry.

Very flattering. But what's wrong with a nice flycruise from Barcelona, where there's a chance of better weather, cutting out the two potentially rocky days it takes to sail from Southampton to the Med and the two it takes to get back.

It's great news for the city of Southampton of course - it reckons that each passenger who joins a cruise at the port generates £380 for the local economy. That's a potential £50 million if the line can fill the ship all year. But that's a big if.

Or is it? The cruises, ranging from 11 to 18 nights, will be visiting the Italian Riviera and the Balearic Islands and cost from just £799 for an 11-night cruise to the Canary Islands. That's £73 a night with all food and entertainment thrown in.

It's a small price to pay for a few days of discomfort.

It was great to hear that All Leisure Group has acquired what we must remember to call Hebridean Island Cruises again.

The company has saved a much-loved cruiseline, added a lovely little ship to its portfolio and secured the futures of a number of office and ship-based staff, as well as those people in Scotland, where Hebridean Princess sails, who will be employed one way or another provisioning the vessel, securing the ropes when it gets to port (and untying them again), guiding excursions and so on.

All Leisure chairman Roger Allard deserves many thanks.

It was just the news we needed on a miserable Budget day.

So Royal Caribbean International is putting a "real" Broadway show on new giant ship Oasis of the Seas? Could this be the start of something new for cruiselines?

The Oasis' Hairspray will be its own version of the Broadway show (currently playing London's West End) that shot to fame recently when it was turned into a film with John Travolta in a fat-suit and drag.

Crucially, it will be shorter and feature the ship's own singers and dancers rather than Travolta or any other celeb.

I just hope they don't murder it and Royal resists charging.

I can't be alone in welcoming the fact that instead of the usual mish-mash of songs from the shows strung together and presented as Broadway-like, there will be a real show with a real plot.

Did I say plot? Actually that's a bit of an exaggeration. There's a message in there about race relations but really it's a vehicle for lots of singing and dancing and for everyone to have a good time.

But that's what makes it so perfect for a cruise ship. Somehow Jesus Christ Superstar just wouldn't be the same.

Thomson Cruises has risen three places to land second place in the UK's Official Cruise Passenger Ratings, as compiled by Cruise.co.uk, putting it way ahead of P&O Cruises, which calls itself Britain's favourite but is languishing at number eight.

Cunard takes the top spot, with Royal Caribbean at number three, Princess Cruises at number four and Ocean Village - the line that's being closed down next year - up five places, at number five.

1: Cunard Cruises - no change
2: Thomson Cruises - up three places
3: Royal Caribbean Cruises - no change
4: Princess Cruises - no change
5: Ocean Village Cruises - up five places
6: Holland America Line - up two places
7: Island Cruises - new entry
8: P&O Cruises - down one place
9: Celebrity Cruises - down three places
10: Fred Olsen Cruises - down one place

Rankings like these are very hit and miss as they depend so much on who voted. Get a lot of Thomson lovers, as could have happened here, and the results are immediately skewed.

But what interests me are the comments from P&O stalwarts on P&O's Community website in response to the results of this poll.

This from Dave T

"I have cruised several times with P&O and am very happy with their product, but in defence of Thomson I have to say, having cruised once, that they are almost as good.... The food and general service on the ship (The Emerald) was at least as good if not better."

 This from Bella36

"I am not at all surprised that Thomson have scored so well.... Their itineraries are varied and different to the "same old, same old" P&O ones and they have a very loyal customer base, most of whom have tried other cruise lines, but always go back to Thomson. I would not hesitate to go with them again."

This from Anthony Smyth

"We thought we were downgrading going on a Thomson ship but how wrong we were... the Celebration is a beautiful ship .... Food was good, entertainment just great and there was a classical concert every evening. In the end we felt we had enjoyed our cruise far more than even on the QE2 the previous summer."

There will be some very happy people at Thomson Cruises right now.

P&O passengers have voted Aurora their favourite ship, with Ventura (above) bottom of the pile at number six. The ship even scored less than Artemis, the old lady of the P&O fleet.

Given the negative publicity Ventura has suffered since its launch last April, it's really not a surprise, so I mention it only because interestingly, the results are so very different from the scores in the Berlitz Guide to Cruising.

Author Douglas Ward puts Ventura in top place with Aurora at number five. Arcadia is number two (5th place with passengers), Oriana number three (2), Oceana number 4 (3) and Artemis down in 6th place (5).

Has the Bible lost touch with the people? I'm cruising on Ventura at the end of May so I'll let you know.

The Israeli security staff on MSC Melody who repelled an attack by pirates in the Gulf of Aden over the weekend by firing on them have become overnight heros.

Not with the bleeding heart human rightists - they are still wringing their hands over news that the Israeli security staff had guns - but with ordinary people who can't understand why governments from all countries are dancing around the Somali pirates instead of blasting them out of the water.

The Israelis on MSC's Melody, hired from a private security firm, didn't even need to do that. Captain Ciro Pinto, who is also something of a hero in my book for having the courage to take action, ordered that pistols kept in a safe on the ship be handed to the guards.

They opened fire as the pirates tried to board the ship and water hoses were also turned on the bandits so they gave up.

Domenico Pellegrino, MSC Cruises managing director, said of the Israeli security guards: "We use them because they are the best -- and we have just had a demonstration of that."

Interestingly, Ally suggests on TravelMole that MSC brought the attack on by telling the world last week it was changing its route through the Gulf while another writes on Cruise Log that MSC was a brand struggling to become known in North America. "Now everybody knows who they are.....the cruise line with REAL security on board. Bravo!" writes King Bob.

See where I'm going? No. A marketing ploy too far surely!

But do take a moment to read some of the comments on Cruise Log. These are some of my favourites:

* In a related news story in which Royal Caribbean says: "We will charge a surcharge for pirate entertainment."

* A new on-board activity......shoot to kill the pirates. Prizes for the best killshot, sinking the pirate craft, etc. Ship could offer free gratuties, free casino plays and free pirate costumes for the winners.

* Bring back skeet shooting on cruise ships! Then passengers could provide their own security. More fun than any rock-climbing wall. For every pirate taken out, the cruise line could offer an onboard credit!

The people have spoken!

All cruiselines have now confirmed they will be staying away from Mexico as a result of the the deadly swine flu. Itineraries are being assessed on a daily bases in response to news about the virus.

While no one has actually banned travel to Mexico, it had to happen. Can you imagine the furore if a passenger contracted the virus and died after official advice from both the US and UK was against all but non-essential travel to the country?

And how many passengers would have wanted to go to a place where locals are wandering around in face masks and from which holidaymakers have been evacuated?

The cruiselines have had to work fast to change their itineraries, but in a round-about kind of way the swine flu might turn out to be good news for them.

Many are simply turning the Mexico port day into an extra day at sea. That means passengers are trapped on board and spending, which is not to be sneezed at (no pun intended) in these recessionary times.

But we should also spare a thought for the Mexicans who live and work around the ports. With no cruise passengers spending their dollars in the shops or in the taxis, no cruise passengers to go on excursions, their livelihoods have been shattered overnight.

And these people also have to live with the harsh fact that the only people who have died from the virus are Mexicans.

News of the fun and games on MSC Melody at the weekend has put Fred Olsen Cruise Lines off taking its chances through the Gulf of Aden.

It probably was never too comfortable with the idea of sailing through pirate waters after its own experience back in March. The Sun's version makes fun reading. What I believe to be the more accurate account is here.

Whatever happened that night, Fred is not taking any more chances. The return leg of its world cruise on Balmoral in 2010 will now take passengers from Australia across the Indian Ocean to South Africa and back to the UK by the west coast of Africa.

They should have been visiting ports in the Indian Ocean en route to Dubai, Oman and Egypt, and coming home through the Suez Canal.

The cruise will still leave Dover on January 5 2010 and return 106 nights later on April 21.

Talking of pirates, there is an interesting account in Spiegel Online of what actually happened on MSC Melody at the weekend.

Remember the hero captain? Well it seems maybe he wasn't such a hero after all. That title belongs to some passengers on deck who spotted the pirates trying to board and managed to repel the marauders using deckchairs and tables.

Captain Ciro Pinto, meanwhile, was enjoying a drink in the bar and coincidentally telling two passengers that there was no likelihood of a pirate attack because they were 1,000 sea miles from the Somali coast.

As soon as he was alerted to what was happening he sprang into action and distributed the guns to the security guards, but by the time they got the scene, the pirates had given up trying to board - one was knocked off a rope by the makeshift missiles - and were instead firing at our new heros.

A good story? Apparently not. MSC Cruises chief executive Pierfrancesco Vago has admitted the statements given by the passengers to Spiegel Online are "authentic". He added: "We were professional, but we were also lucky."

That's one way of describing it.

I wonder if he'll be sending the passengers a bill for the missing deckchairs and tables.