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For a red-blooded male, the mere mention of the word ‘pamper’ smacks of naff and nonsense.

When it comes to destressing give me a pint of Guinness over hot rocks and essential oils any day. No need to book an appointment and much more straightforward. The only word I fear more than ‘pamper’ is ‘shopping’. So what am I doing on a pampering trip to Singapore? High on the city state’s ‘uniquely’ indulgent delights are spa treatments and retail therapy. All I wanted to do during my visit in June was down a few Singapore Slings and watch Euro 2004.

The Singapore Tourism Board is attempting to relaunch Singapore as a cool, 21st century destination. Its new brand identity, Uniquely Singapore, was unveiled in a blast of pyrotechnics on the roof terrace of the new Esplanade complex in mid-March, along with a guest appearance from one of the country’s most famous transvestites; quite a departure for Singapore.

Visitor numbers suffered following the double whammy of September 11 and SARS, but are now climbing again. The STB spent £20 million last year promoting the city state and 2004 targets for the ‘all-new Singapore’ are ambitious. The goal is 7.6 million visitors – a 24% increase on last year.

Away from the rooftop razzmatazz, the words ‘Singapore’ and ‘unique’ aren’t perhaps the most obvious bedfellows. The city’s nanny-state image is well documented and I wasn’t expecting much excitement. But that was before the Tarzan rope massage and the reverse bungee. Not to mention the fish-head curry.

The day after the brand launch found me naked but for paper underwear. Anna was massaging my oily buttocks with her feet. Maybe this pampering business isn’t so bad after all? Anna’s feet were so soft I wondered if she was using her hands. I craned my neck round to look. No – she was hanging off two ropes suspended from the ceiling which allowed her to apply the required pressure with her soles. It’s hard work – for her.

Along with the Tarzan rope massage, costing about £30, Spa-esprit offers an ‘instant brownie’, or fast-tanning process. Unfortunately on my visit the compressor was down, so no chance of an all-over glow. I almost got a personal ‘instant brownie’ though, down at Clarke Quay that evening. GMax is Southeast Asia’s first reverse bungee – a Singapore sling every bit as head spinning as the cocktail.

Instead of jumping from on-high, you sit in a cage suspended by bungee cords from two huge pylons and are catapulted skywards. For a few dazzling moments, Singapore’s skyline was turned upside down. Then I was plunging headfirst towards the ground. Scream? I howled my lungs out.

Day two involved shopping, cooking and beadwork. Could it get any worse? The Peranakan community is a classic example of Singapore’s melting-pot culture – a result of Chinese traders who came to Singapore, took a shine to the local Malay girls and married them. I fumbled to fold the banana-leaf wrapping around a Peranakan dumpling at Kim Choo, causing bits of rice and pork to drop out all over the place. I was later ushered into the dining room to eat instead – a far better idea.

Next door at Rumah Bebe, Bebe Seet continues the Peranakan tradition of beadwork in her ornate 1920s shophouse. Surrounded by dark wood carvings and filmy fabrics, she stitches tiny beads on to clothes, handbags and shoes in delicate flower and leaf patterns. One pair of hand-beaded shoes will set you back £300.

There was no escaping the shopping. Along the famous Orchard Road, luxury brands ring up at half the price of Europe. Located opposite each other, Paragon and Takashimaya malls contain all the Prada, Gucci and YSL you could lust after, along with funky labels like INEZ, BCBG-Maxazria, Kenzo, Valentino and Anya Hindmarch. For boutiquey garb Heeren Mall stocks surf styles such as Mambo and retro-chic Miss Sixty.

I headed instead for the fine old department store Tangs, the Harrods of Singapore. Here I fell in love with my personal shopper Nafeesah, who asked lots of questions about the gifts I’d been instructed to buy, and picked out a brooch and some hair clips in about 10 minutes. Retail therapy? I was exhausted. Time for a beer and a curry. You can eat for a few pounds on any street corner in Little India but pay a little more and you can sample the local speciality at Banana Leaf restaurant on Race Course Road. Fish-head curry tastes rather good with a couple of local Tiger beers.

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